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OPINION

The Obama Jobs Pogrom for ISIS

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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pogrom

noun

--an organized massacre of a particular ethnic group (This definition is included for liberals who have a way of forgetting history)

While ISIS conducts a pogrom in the Middle East on groups like Jews and Christians with whom it disagrees, the Obama administration has transferred their domestic political pogrom on jobs to the black hooded terrorist army.

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Uh, oh. Now they are in for it.

If ISIS thought it was safe when America refused to wage a war on them with conventional weapons, little did it know that Obama was saving his best weapon of mass destruction for now. Cue tension-heightening music.

Two state department, um, spokespeople(?) said this week that the root cause of all the killings, burnings and beheadings by ISIS was a lack of jobs. And Obama is gonna fix that straight away.

ISIS is screwed.

Unlike the rest of us who think that the ISIS problem is really a lack of hand jobs amongst religious fanatics obsessed with subjugating everyone, Obama and his team have beavered away to come up with a jobs pogrom that means, um…jobs—as in employment. And maybe even a midnight golfing clinic with free hot snack pogrom.

Like most pogroms that Obama designs, his plan is short on details.

But from past pogroms instituted in the U.S. like the stimulus, Obamacare, Dodd-Frank, the EPA, the Department of Education, etc. that have decimated the American economy, taxpayer and student, presumably Obama will tax anyone in Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Libya, Morocco, Syria, Jordan, UAE, Iraq—but not Iran—making more than $250 per year to pay for it.

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I mean really: When you live in a desert how much money do you actually need? Or maybe he can just get his rich Jewish buddies to pay.

So while Egypt and Jordan gull the ISIS army with massive airstrikes and the Kurds excel in ground combat, one has to admire the courage Obama is mustering to unleash this soul-destroying campaign on ISIS that will deprive them of both hope and change, just as it did here in the United States.

Soon unemployment will be persistent with wages depressed. Soon ISIS youth will be paying into a system of social security to support 16 retired brigadier generals with the likelihood that benefits will be cut when those youngsters get to retirement age.

Soon the average ISIS worker will make less than a teacher, while a teacher will make more than a doctor or a software engineer.

And everyone will be unionized. No exceptions.

Likely Obama is even thinking about sending in technical advisors from the Chicago Department of Streets and Sanitation who, while not actually taking part in the work per se, will teach ISIS how to fill potholes to last just one winter season—ensuring a bevy of bigger pot holes in the desert next year.

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And that’s only a part of the pogrom.

Why use one solider to kill a Jew when you can use a team? One can drink coffee, another other can monitor safety conditions, another can be a “delegate” to the local union hall and another can be in charge of handling the signs that tell drivers to stop, go or slow.

Then there of course will be the ubiquitous union worker of whom no one knows what he does, including the worker himself.

In America we call that job “president.”

And Obama looks better and better in that role for ISIS everyday. Maybe he can take his state department people with him.

That would create a least a few jobs for ISIS that I can think of.

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