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Sad Kamala Addresses Army of Losers in Concession Speech That Should've Been Delivered Hours Ago

Who the hell would come to this event? Your candidate loses a presidential election, the campaign tells you to go home, and then you return for the concession speech. These people are gluttons for punishment. The observations from CNN Abby Phillip were spot-on: the joy and hope have been sucked out of the room. She also said that despite the music in the background, the mood at Howard University, where Harris delivered the ‘I lost’ speech, was somber. 

It was a short address that didn’t require the hours-long wait. It’s nothing that you haven’t heard before from Kamala, albeit with less awkward cackles. The vice president thanked her family, the family of weirdo Tim Walz and his odd clan, and the many volunteers, staffers, and poll workers who helped her failed presidential bid. 

She said the outcome was not what we wanted or voted for, but the light of America’s promise will always burn bright, adding how she was still full of gratitude and love for our country. 

Kamala then spoke about how proud of the race they ran and the way they ran it—whatever that means. She lost; there’s nothing to be proud about. She spoke about the goal of building communities and coalitions united by a love of country and America’s future.  The vice president obviously failed in that objective. Harris then officially conceded the race and said she would help President-elect Donald Trump with the transition. 

She later swiped at him, saying that a fundamental principle is that we accept the results; that separates us from monarchism and authoritarianism. 

She said we owe loyalty to the Constitution of the United States, not a president or party. Kamala conceded the election but not the fight that fueled her campaign. She mentioned abortion rights and gun control, along with some weird tangent about the fight for dignity and respecting rights. 

“Hard work is good work—it can be joyful work.” 

Before closing, she spoke to young voters, saying that it’s going to be okay, some fights take time, and don’t ever give up. She closed with this adage: only when it is dark enough can you see the stars. 

Let us fill the sky with the light of stars.

Again, we waited hours for this—I’m wondering if her staff even had a concession speech drafted.  The vice president lost the election hours ago. When President-elect Donald Trump won Pennsylvania, that was the ballgame. As it so happened, Wisconsin and Michigan both went for Trump. Contrary to initial reports, Kamala did not call Trump last night. She went to bed. As Katie wrote earlier today, both Kamala and Joe Biden called to concede and congratulate Trump on his decisive landslide win. 

Anyways, Harris is a loser again. Trump is president. Onward.

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Yeah, she thought she was going to win: