As Americans across the land prepare to enjoy Christmas with family and friends, it’s worth remembering the many gifts that Joe Biden and his fellow Democrats have bestowed on the nation recently. While not a comprehensive list, following are a dozen of Biden’s most cherished presents to recall and celebrate over this year’s Twelve Days of Christmas.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, Joe Biden gave to me:
12) Drummers Drumming: Biden, cheered on by Liz Cheney and Morning Joe, continues to beat the drum on “defending democracy” by weaponizing the Department of Justice to ban free choice in elections, now joined by four Colorado Supreme Court justices. Not surprisingly, three of the four Colorado Justices are Ivy League grads, and two were themselves “wrongfully accused of harassment and discrimination.” Sounds like a rocky road ahead on appeal for the Rocky Mountain ruling.
11) Pipers Piping: Some piper piping cocaine anonymously at the White House, and Biden’s Secret Service shutting down its investigation into the security breach after less than two weeks due to a due to “a lack of physical evidence.” This is the same Secret Service that reportedly “intervened in an investigation into a 2018 incident involving Hunter Biden and his girlfriend” related to a possible gun crime.
10) Lords a-leaping: Jill and Joe Biden inviting lords from a left-wing, “defund-the-police” activist dance troupe to leap all through the White House in a Christmas video at taxpayer expense. The “tacky” and “tasteless” Executive Mansion tap-dance left many wondering if the staff who approved it were indulging in a little of the White House nose candy themselves.
9) Ladies dancing: A transgender activist going topless at Biden’s LGBTQ+ Pride festival on the White House lawn, with the rainbow Pride flag replacing the American flag in center position on the Executive Mansion portico.
8) Maids a-milking: Democrat staff allegedly trespassing into a storied Senate hearing room to film a gay sex video, and then reportedly following Hunter’s lead in playing the victim card instead of owning up to his actions. As many have observed, either way, one violation is clear: taxpayers are the only ones allowed to be screwed in the U.S. Senate.
7) Swans a-swimming: Biden’s former colleague Chuck Schumer changing the Senate dress code to allow Black Swan Senators to wear a hoodie and sandals while presiding over the chamber.
6) Geese a-laying: John Kerry breaking wind at a Dubai Climate Change conference in an apt metaphor for the bloviating of his fellow Big Climate zealots on the world stage. Kerry’s flatulence indeed cut carbon emissions by helping fuel his ride home on his wife’s private jet.
5) Golden rings: Biden’s “non-binary” nuclear energy official using a taxpayer-funded trip to Las Vegas to steal luggage, allegedly containing $500 in makeup, $1,700 in jewelry and $850 worth of clothes. The staffer reportedly wore a “T-shirt emblazoned with a rainbow-colored atomic nuclear symbol” during the heist.
4) Calling birds: Socialist Congressman Jamaal Bowman (D-N.Y.) obstructing an official proceeding of Congress by pulling a fire alarm to delay a House vote on a bipartisan spending bill.
3) French hens: Biden laying an egg by letting a staffer dressed as an Easter Bunny lead him away from reporters who questioned him on Afghanistan at the annual White House Egg Roll.
2) Turtle doves: Biden’s Homeland Security “disinformation czar” falling like a dove when exposed as a Russia-gate Clinton election denier and Biden laptop information-suppressor.
1) And a Partridge in a pear tree: Hunter Biden channeling his best Alan Partridge, announcing in front of the Capitol that he is “giv[ing] Congress a middle finger” by refusing to testify in front of a House committee investigating his family’s multi-million-dollar foreign $hakedown scheme. No word whether his Dad’s Justice Department will end up prosecuting him for contempt of Congress and throw him in jail for months as it did to Trump advisers Steve Bannon and Peter Navarro for the same charge.
This Christmas, the nation thanks Joe Biden and his fellow Democrats for a festival of absurdity that provides an endless holiday supply of joy and good cheer. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!
Mr. Ullyot is a U.S. Marine Corps veteran and a former Deputy Assistant to the President.