On October 4th, 2017, I woke up happily married to Green Beret medical sergeant Bryan Black. That night I went to bed his widow. My husband’s team was ambushed by ISIS in Niger, Africa leaving four Americans dead. Following the ambush many people spoke to me about revenge and killing ISIS, but I wasn’t interested in punishing anyone. Instead, I wanted to learn the cause of the debacle in hopes of preventing similar incidents in the future and further loss of life.
An investigation into the Niger ambush was run by the military, and blame was put onto those at the lowest levels, including Bryan’s team. By the time the investigation concluded it was clear that the military didn’t care about the truth; they cared about protecting those at the highest levels. I had been living my worst nightmare yet was left dependent on leaders who didn’t care enough to bring me the truth despite the price my family and my husband had paid. I love this country and would sacrifice to no end for its people, but I learned the hard way that many of our top military leaders only sacrifice for themselves.
Dishonesty by leadership is inexcusable, particularly when the sacrifice of innocent lives is used to feed their egos and self-serving agendas.
Over the past two weeks I have seen the same scenario I faced following Bryan’s death play out at the highest levels of our military and government. Americans have watched aghast as our commander in chief, surrounded by the Nation’s top brass, has blundered his way through a catastrophic and embarrassing failure while attempting to withdraw from Afghanistan. Each day a new and more shocking event unfolds on the ground in Kabul and our spineless leaders respond with excuses and shameful butt covering.
I was sickened when Thursday was no different. The nation watched, heartbroken, as news poured in of suicide bombers attacking the airport in Kabul killing ten Marines, two Army soldiers, and one Navy Corpsman. That afternoon President Biden addressed the nation in one of the most tone-deaf speeches I’ve heard. I was left feeling forlorn as I watched a president who once again seemed entirely detached from the gravity of the situation, his lack of honesty apparent when part way through the address he furrowed his brow and drew his face into an odd expression stating: "For those who carried out this attack as well as anyone who wishes America harm, know this: we will not forgive, we will not forget. We will hunt you down and make you pay. I’ll defend our interests and our people with every measure at my command."
With all due respect, Mr. President, we are a tired and war weary nation. We are not interested in sacrificing more of our men and women to avenge our nation’s image which you destroyed in a matter of days through inept leadership. Your empty threats and serious looks do not scare the enemy who have already witnessed your actions which speak volumes louder than the words you recite as they scroll across the teleprompter in front of you. If your administration and your words held any weight in that region no one would have walked through the security checkpoints wearing a suicide vest, the Taliban would not be drawing a red line, and we wouldn’t have needed to deploy more troops to get our remaining citizens out of the country.
What the military and their family members want and deserve most is truth, that is the real justice we seek, not the blood of “our enemies.” Our enemies have slowly become those in leadership who have led our own people to slaughter over and over without ever fully comprehending the cost of the sacrifice. It is not just the sacrifice of a soldier’s life; it is the sacrifice of their children who are left to be raised in a broken home. No dad to teach their sons how to become men. No mom to guide their daughters through those rough teen years. Parents who will forever have an empty seat during Thanksgiving and never know the joy of a grandchild born in the image of their son or daughter. The pain cuts indescribably deep, will last a lifetime, and affect the fabric of the American family for generations.
Right now, all those families who lost loved ones are not thinking about killing ISIS-K. What they are thinking about is whether this will finally be enough bloodshed. Will their loved one’s death finally be enough to stop this madness and keep another family from going through the nightmare they are now living? Please do the right thing; stop issuing empty threats and instead try speaking the truth. For Gold Star families justice is found in the peace that truth and accountability bring. Not in revenge.
Michelle Black is the author of Sacrifice: A Gold Star Widow’s Fight for the Truth. She is a Gold Star wife and the mother of two boys. He husband was a Green Beret that served in Afghanistan and was killed in a terror attack ambush in Africa in 2017. She lives in Washington State.
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