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OPINION
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I’m Not Doing COVID Anymore

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Steven Senne, File

Count me out of your pandemic paranoia – I have better things to do than care about COVID. I already had it and I Swalwell-slapped it. I refuse to live in fear of a variant that sounds like a Transformers character. I got your Omicron right here, Fauci.

Here’s a pleasing contrast. In America, our Air Force asks us to pick a rainbow logo for the Air Force’s Diversity, Equity and Inclusion program. In China, the audiences are cheering a movie about killing Americans. When we lose the next war, remember who warned you.

So, is there a market for conservative entertainment? To judge from the reaction to my conservative Hallmark movie idea, “I’m Dreaming of a Red Christmas,” there sure is. Some rich donor should take part of the cash he’s setting on fire by giving it to the Cato Institute and fund some con entertainment. Incidentally, Cato the Younger was a huge jerk. The Elder regulated, though.

OMIGOSH ITS OMICRON

How sad is for the malignant little gnome that the latest variant seems super spready but is basically just a cold to most people? Yeah, I know people with comorbidities are at risk. Old people, tubby people, people with low-T – basically the Democrat Congressional leadership is at risk, so they want all of us to suffer too.

Nah.

Yes, COVID can make you die in rare cases. But life makes you die in all cases, and I’m still choosing to have one. There are so many weirdoes for whom this temporary situation is now a lifestyle. Imagine having a functioning immune system and refusing to leave your condo, or see people, or shut the hell up when other people refuse to wear masks outside or driving in their cars alone? I am close to people who do have immune problems, who have real risks the rest of us don’t. You know what? They’d rather die living than live like they are already dead. 

But there are ways to deal with whatever peril it poses. You can get a vaccine. It won’t stop you getting the disease. They lied about that. It won’t stop you spreading it. They lied about that too. But it does seem to keep you from getting as sick as you would otherwise. They may or may not be lying about that, but we wouldn’t know. After all the lies, we don’t listen to them anymore and we just rely on our observations that vaccinated people who get it usually live. But then, so do unvaccinated people.

Interesting segue…

I have some friends who were super-eager to get the vaccine earlier this year. They had some issues that made them a little more vulnerable. Whatever. But now, they won’t get a booster. They are totally alienated by the lies they have been fed. Congratulations, establishment. You are so dishonest you can’t even get people to do something that they once believed might help them. Way to go. 

OUR MILITARY IS A JOKE

The Air Force has an important decision to make – should the logo for its Diversity, Equity & Inclusion department be a rainbow of saluting airpeople, or a rainbow B-52? Also, you can now put your pronouns on official Air Force document signature blocks.

In China, where the People’s Liberation Army is not a bad joke, Chinese audiences are wildly cheering a movie called “The Battle at Lake Changjin.” We call it the Chosin Reservoir. The communist scum attacked us in overwhelming numbers, forcing US Marine and Army forces to stage a retreat. The good news is that we killed piles of those red bastards.

But the point is that our Air Force is focused on pronouns and the Chinese are focused on killing us. They will win the inevitable was with us. Sorry. They will. But our troops will die trans-aware.

KURT’S CONSERVATIVE HALLMARK MOVIE

So, in the wake of Joe Manchin crushing the souls of the Dems by rejecting their Build Back Bolshevik bill, I fired off a random tweet: “Hallmark movie about a beautiful but unlucky in love DC Dem consultant who goes to WV to yell at Manchin over Christmas and falls in love with a rough-hewn carpenter who drives a Tahoe with a Trump 2024 sticker.” I would title it “I’m Dreaming of a Red Christmas” because of course I would

Well, the reaction was amazing. It looks like people might actually watch something like that, and why the hell not? We’re bombarded by woke crap. Even the stupid “The Witcher” show’s season two is totally woke, all girl power and talking about feelz. 

Someday, someone with conservative bucks is going to stop flushing his dough down the crapper by giving it to Conservative, Inc., and fund some real conservative media. Of course, the issue is not so much making the product as getting distribution. You can do what legendary actor Nick Searcy did with his “Capitol Punishment” movie and do it off a website, but the big score will be when conservative media can be had on the major channels – the HBOs, the Amazons, the Netflixes. 

So, how do we do it? After all, these are private companies which we are informed that our principles require we allow to suppress us and keep us out of the public square because principles and reasons and principles. But here’s an alternative idea. Maybe, once we crush the Dems in 2022 and elect a non-crusty president in 2024, we can just mandate that they carry our stuff too. This idea is not really very conservative in the traditional sense, but there is a powerful counter-argument to that: Screw them.

Until some visionary makes my Kelly Turnbull conservative action thrillers into movies, you’ll just have to read them. The sixth, The Split, shows what happens when America splits into red and blue countries. Get all these action-packed bestsellers, including People's Republic, Indian Country, Wildfire, Collapse, and Crisis!

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