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Beggars As Choosers

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Carolyn Kaster/AP Photo

A sad, almost pathetic look on a puppy's face is enough to melt most people's hearts and get them to shower attention on that little dog. But does being sad and pathetic in human beings inspire anything other than pity? It must get Democrats to dig into their pockets and give money to their would be masters, considering how often they use those things in their fundraising emails. 

Under the subject line, "This is it," the radical group "Stop Republicans" opens its email, "We begged you. We pleaded with you. We've emailed you for DAYS about how important it is to help elect John Fetterman. We're on our knees: Can you spare just $5 before our midnight deadline?" 

Just $5, you see, that's all it takes. "WE TOLD YOU if we lose in Pennsylvania, McConnell would win back the Senate and push through his pro-Trump agenda. NO!" they continue. "WE TOLD YOU if we can fund our Voter Turnout Teams in Pennsylvania, we can SAVE our Senate majority! WE TOLD YOU we're doing EVERYTHING WE CAN to keep the Senate out of McConnell's grasp, but we still need 12,224 donations BY MIDNIGHT or we'll have to give up." 

Who is going to give money to a group that is ready to fold up shop? "If we don't raise enough money we're leaving town, so give to us" sounds like a good way to set your money on fire without committing a felony. What happens if they're short? Will people get their money back as they load up the U-Haul? 

It is, of course, a lie. It's a manipulation tactic that works on the feeble-minded. 

Since their email opened with "WE TOLD YOU" several times, I did a search and found their previous email mentioning the bald racist with health problems running in Pennsylvania. That subject line was, "We are sorry." They truly are, just not in the way they mean. 

"Derek -- this is a hard email to write," it starts. "But Democrats are about to lose our shot at winning the Senate Majority... we're going to hand Mitch McConnell complete control over Joe Biden. Almost no one -- seriously, NO ONE -- has donated to boost Democratic Voter Turnout in Pennsylvania. If we miss tonight's 35,000 donation goal, our campaign in Pennsylvania (THE MOST COMPETITIVE SENATE RACE) is DONE. McConnell wins again. We. Would. CRY. So this is your FINAL chance to do the right thing! We are BEGGING you to donate." 

"My God," you might be thinking, "this is the most pathetic thing I've ever read." You may be right. But a simple search of my emails from these groups (I keep them all) shows dozens and dozens (135 to be exact) emails dating back to January 2020 using the exact same tactic and the exact same wording. They asked, they begged, they pleaded, "but almost no one donated." 

In fact, nine days after the "no one donated" email about Pennsylvania, the same group sent one about Florida. "Derek -- this is a hard email to write, this one begins. "But Democrats are about to lose our shot at winning the Senate Majority... we're going to hand McConnell control over Biden. Almost no one -- seriously, NO ONE -- has donated to boost Democratic Voter Turnout in Florida. If we miss tonight's 25,000 donation goal, our campaign in Florida (THE MOST COMPETITIVE SENATE RACE) is DONE. McConnell wins again. We. Would. CRY. This is your FINAL chance to do the right thing! We are BEGGING…" 

It's almost a direct cut/paste of the Pennsylvania email. Do they not realize they're doing this, or are they counting on their donors not to realize they're doing it? 

Democrat groups go to great lengths to fool their base into thinking something is "urgent" or so important that the fate of the entire world hinges on their donation. If these emails show anything it's that, if they work, these groups don't have to try so hard. Their donors are stupid. They could send a Nigerian Prince level email and probably come away with the same amount of money, if not more because their base doesn't recognize the exact same con nine days apart. 

They are the sucker being taken for everything in a 3-card Monty scheme in Time's Square…every single night of their vacation. If it weren't funding horrible people, it'd be much funnier than it is. 

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